Blog from Maribeth Kuzmeski of Red Zone Marketing

Today’s politicians fight, bad mouth each other, ridicule, scream, occasionally tell half-truths, and cause overall frustration for many. Whether you’re a Republican, Democrat, or somewhere in-between, I think we would all agree that if there was more listening, cooperation, and compromise, there would be a lot more accomplished. But in order to do this, our politicians must stop pointing condemning fingers at each other and connect with each other.

Politicians should take a lesson from business. In business, compromise and collaboration are facts of everyday life. It is how things get done. Many would get fired for acting the way some politicians do. The truth is that the lack of connection, on both sides of the aisle, hurts citizens much more than the politicians themselves. Complaining and blaming, no matter if you believe you are right or wrong, creates noise, not solutions. And without solutions, where does that leave us?

Increased Social IQ can create more solutions for everybody. An increased Social IQ would certainly help to get more accomplished. Social IQ can be defined as the social intelligence that lies behind group interactions and behaviors. Social intelligence is made up of a person’s own social awareness including empathy, inclusion, control, influence and self-presentation. And no matter how much a politician or any of us knows, there’s always more to learn—and that’s just as true for social intelligence as it is for book smarts.

A simple way to determine where you are in your social intelligence is to think about how you currently interact with other people, and be honest with yourself. Are you exclusive, controlling, and distant? Or are you inclusive, empathetic, and warm? How often do you reach out? Do you take into account what others think? How do you make them feel? A quick and simple assessment here will help for increasing your social intelligence:

• Review the day and your interactions with colleagues and staff.

• Rate the positive impact on others (Grades A-F).

• Write down the notable successes and failures in interactions.

• Prepare for better future interactions.

(In the book, The Connectors, there is also a “Connector Assessment” that will take a closer look and categorize your connector skills and determine the specific areas of potential improvement.)

Once you’ve pinpointed the areas in which you need to improve, rehearse mentally. Anticipate how people might react to what you say. Practice conversations in advance. And remember that sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it that turns people off or gets them to buy into what you are saying.

The goal here isn’t to be unreasonably or illogically optimistic, but to have hope for more positive outcomes that affect all of us. In politics, in business, in our families, with children and neighbors, forming better relationships can mean the difference between a stalemate and real solutions.

www.redzonemarketing.com

Maribeth Kuzmeski, is the author of the new book, The Connectors: How the World’s Most Successful Businesspeople Build Relationships and Win Clients for Life (Wiley, September 2009, ISBN: 978-0-4704881-8-8, $22.95)