My contention is that relationship skills are as important to ones future as math, science, and reading. But relationship skills are often overlooked because they are not graded in school like other important skillsets.

During the holidays, kids, just like adults, are required to navigate a variety of social settings and utilize their relationship skills. And when we hear “…click…click…click…” (the sound of a teenager texting instead of answering Aunt Debbie’s question) it may be when we know that things could be improved upon. As a parent, the holiday season is when we tend to notice most acutely which of our kids’ habits could use improvement … right in front of friends and family.

The holiday season provides a wealth of opportunities to demonstrate and practice relationship skills. Here are 3 holiday opportunities for instilling these skills (I’m working on them right now with my kids):

Teach them that sometimes it’s cool to unplug. One of the biggest complaints that adults have with “young people today” is that they’re always “plugged in.” To some extent, that’s true—email, social networking, text messaging, mp3 players, and more have radically changed the way this generation communicates and spends its free time. Now, technology isn’t bad in and of itself, but we all know that it can lead to disengaged behavior—especially at holiday gatherings.

Arm them with ice breakers. For kids who spend most of their days “LOLing,” “BRBing,” and “TTYLing,” having a good old-fashioned verbal conversation might be unfamiliar, if not downright intimidating. Especially if your child isn’t a natural chatterbox, discuss what some good topics of discussion might be and help them to make a list of strategies for drumming up conversation.

Empower them while you’re traveling. Try letting your daughter interact with the hotel receptionist and take care of all check-in aspects at a hotel, except the payment. If you need extra towels in your room, let your child call down to the front desk to request them. It won’t be easy, but it will be a valuable exercise in navigating conversation.

All parents will hit some rough patches navigating the holiday season. With 2 teenagers I know that everything will not be rosy. But I will try to help them continue growing into “connectors” – I believe it is a truly invaluable gift this holiday season.

About Maribeth’s New Book, The Engaging Child: Raising Children to Speak, Write, and Have Relationship Skills Beyond Technology. The book is packed full of strategies and techniques to help kids engage others meaningfully and productively, a skill that—according to research—plays a huge role in driving personal and professional success. The last two chapters of the book are written by Lizzie Kuzmeski, Maribeth’s seventeen-year-old daughter, to provide a peer’s perspective on the elements of building and maintaining real relationships in a wired and fast-paced world.